The Private Investigator

The doorbell rang as I hung up the phone, and then heard my father's deep, imposing voice fill our entryway.I stood walked slowly into unlit hallway unnoticed wife, Allison, hugged father took his coat bag. Though she'd only met him once, at mom's funeral, wanted her to share dislike for man. From what I'd told her, Allison knew enough about warrant a little enmity, or so thought, but she cheerfully chatted away, asking traffic through Primm Valley weather on Cajon Pass.I hardly recognized him. His face was lean bony, hair, thin top of head, had gone almost completely white.I stepped entryway.“Hey, Champ. How you doing, Slugger?” he said, calling me pet names childhood. jarring unexpectedness those seemed burst in ears with multiple frequencies, bringing vividly mind twilight summer breezes metallic peal ball connecting bat under insect buzz stadium lights—the sounds another time, nostalgic melancholy irretrievable. When didn't say anything, gazed over shoulder living room. aside give an unobstructed view: black-and-white family photos against weathered brick wall Old Pasadena, Henry Jake slack smiling arms; Tuscan leather sectional hand-knotted rugs; potted palms corners room English ivy draping built-in mahogany bookcases. see all it. take each soft, smooth surface reflecting warm, rich glow life given family.“Beautiful home,” said. “Magnolia Park. My favorite stretch Burbank. guess P.I. business is right. Must keep busy.”“Too busy,” “You'd think Troy's long-haul truck driver how much works. And last month called be bishop. At least now has nice everyone.”“A bishop?” squared shoulders straighter. fingers fluttered pant legs. “Your mom would proud.” He turned Allison. “And grandsons?”“In bed,” “They're rascals dinner table. Trust me. We wouldn't have minute peace. But they'll early. You can surprise them. All week them grandpa's coming.”I stared father. A stranger passing man trying make impression? wasn't sure. wore tapered khakis crisp pleats, tasseled Gucci loafers, loud Tommy Bahama polo shirt blooming printed red yellow hibiscus flowers big hand. pendant lamp above us flickered glass silver Omega chronograph strapped wrist. whirred incongruous arithmetic personal finances cost watch loafers.I life, more than It fingertips: bank records credit reports, spotty work history entry-level sales rep half dozen companies, two short-lived marriages after mom, some bad checks Montana that landed jail, DUI outside Reno. even home address. No charming bungalow tree-lined street, no bougainvillea-draped arbor broad, shaded porch. street view North Las Vegas apartment complex brought crumbling stucco, dark stairwells, disintegrating jalopies blighted fringes San Fernando where investigators often staked out fraudulent insurance claims delinquent debtors. bare, inglorious reality comforted glad low he'd fallen.“Let's eat,” nodding direction, if prompt realized hadn't said word since arrival.I lifted arm, awkward, wooden gesture, direct dining room, instead laid right hand shoulder. “Give old hug,” back, embrace were punishment. stopped, barely flinching drummed back. let go, looked closely face, spotted skin stretched tight cheekbones, skeleton working itself through. could smell him, rankness age mixed sharp, citrusy cologne. seen spoken four years, not shown late, uninvited, slouched side pew bored expression flushed seemingly interested clock chapel woman who'd once been wife fourteen years. conspicuous boredom alcohol breath infuriated me, know We'd argued cemetery parking lot. become man, slightly stooped, dappled hands.He back air uncertainty hesitancy, perhaps wondering we stood, knew, forgiven.“Yes, let's walking trailing behind table, sniffing like animal scent. “You've too trouble,” giving courtly bow before sitting down. She pooh-poohed idea stuck serving spoon steaming bowl mashed potatoes. “We're you're here,” said.As ate, watched touched food, just pushed it around plate. searching something cadence, words, gesture facial tic. What looking for? Maybe flicker guilt remorse. Just their fleeting shadows satisfied saw nothing initial unease melt cloying braggadocio, remembered gravity pulling attention himself. sat reclined, one elbow parked regally armrest, dreamy gaze fixed point us, king throne captive audience.He jabbered adventures traveling rep, stellar record garnered awards honors, stars world luminaries happened bump trips, big-hearted invitations visit Beverly Hills Hamptons, and, course, dangers desolate roads defend himself trusty Smith & Wesson .38. In retirement, planned go abroad live Bolivia Ecuador.Allison listened enthusiasm couldn't muster, leaning toward father, clucking tongue shaking encouraging spirited interjections “Oh, that's incredible!” “No, that!” gossiping neighbor fence. taken by hear silver-tongued phoniness self-aggrandizing stories. spoke high revered well-compensated employee, magnetic soul people clamored befriend. Of there mention dumpy apartment, failed checks.“So you?” finally asked “How's business?”I crushed linen napkin lap noticed, first crystal holding potatoes shaped rose. ridiculous.My appeared read gaze, incredulity irritation pushing neutral tried project arrival. eyes dropped plate, busied cutting green bean sections. suddenly winded, earlier palpable presence between us.When answer, “Troy, tell your dad car accident office. want opinion.”My expectantly, fork poised plate.“You him,” said.Allison lips pressed together, father:“There office,” “A FedEx ran light T-boned Latino guy full yard equipment. Troy did? grabs camera starts taking pictures accident. gives card who time's stretcher neck brace, banged up. happened? yesterday calls Troy, able speak English, he's suing wants buy pictures. Five hundred dollars. That's charged should've free.”My slapped tabletop open palm. “Way sniff buck,” “Just Carpe diem. Make hay while sun shines.” patted Allison's hand, reassure something. “FedEx will settle times paid five new trucks settlement. Mexico royalty.” Then leaned crossed arms. story reminded when younger, off again string self-congratulatory tales.I listen anymore. look way whole body shook collapsed laughter, struck funny. felt constricted, chair narrowing hips, table boxing in, thick sweater straitjacket. sweat glazed nose forehead. claw sweater, rise throw run from dry, heated escape night.“I leave,” standing quickly toppled over.“Troy!” Her fell clattered across wood floor.“Earlier. That Eric phone,” “He can't do surveillance tonight. He's sick.”Allison “Can't this wait? mean, why go?”“This case,” “There's deadline. It's priority.”“Can't someone else go?” both onto tabletop. “You own company. Can't get phone it?”“It's late,” “This responsibility. important.”“There are other things responsible for,” head tilting direction.“A doctor's divorcing because she's drug addict,” “Unless prove that, gets custody kids. Think children.” absorption “I'm sorry,” “I go.”My flashed easy smile. “My son, private investigator,” “Don't worry Slugger. her.”I pulled hall closet, opened front door. Dark, heavy clouds filled sky great expanse upended mountains, sagging peak tightly clenched fist. tennis courts Verdugo Park brightly lit stage. floppy-haired teenage boy, obviously man's grinned gloomy volleys.“When coming home?” asked.“I don't know,” “Late.” drove north Scott Road, squinting Mountains, they shadow substance, lost night looming storm, except faraway Tongva Peak pulsed heartbeat.I thought soon occupy bedroom down mine.He'd leaving, belated birthday addendum words; occasional postcard scratched nondescript sentence decipher; phantom scrimped saved court meager check might come fifth month. person distant distilled handful contradictory memories—though sound voice, strangely, never diminished mind, its deepness resonance, reading Hardy Boys, describing tantalizing detail, tossed baseball backyard rented La Crescenta, turreted mansion Point Dume, yacht jet. later confident sure power persuade, TV, charmed met, lapsed, half-hearted Mormon Sunday singles ward, who, parents young age.His learn, acted collateral most fabulous promises claims, gullible strangers unabashedly seek parks restaurants, naïve members Crescenta impressionable newlyweds middle-aged couples ill prepared retirement. knack insolvent. With lull spilling financial guts, shake incredible like, bet quit rotten job” pay mortgage ten years,” long ago liberated such workaday matters.Later, sit I, insisted, side, nodding, picture unwavering filial confidence trust, described ironclad investment wave-of-the-future product certain bring wealth prosperity: vacation rentals, shoe inserts, patented gas additive radically improve fuel economy—of price start-up kit cut whatever sold friends family. Armani suit these occasions BMW magically driveway day meetings fortified grand claims. impassioned leisure, vagueness products, evasive, half-answered questions—only years did recognize fraud.The hokey businesses out. job, real estate, vague suspect, either. Not left, remember three silent Latinos blue coveralls hauling furniture away. whiff breath, violent arguments paychecks elusive whereabouts evenings. gone—and reappeared, town convention Diego. father.At end stopped ornate wrought-iron gate entered code doctor swung without sound.I wide, twisting streets—Cabrini Drive, Via Venezia, Verona—with towering homes, fringed lavender, rosemary, cypress, ships riding sculpted acres. home, leveled steep hill, quivering grid Valley. home's tile roof arched porticos villa. single projected moody walls furniture.I obscured deep untrimmed oleander road, place offered window driveway. scanned radio station, mesmerized racing indigo numbers, code. dial stopped. baritone preemptive military strike Korea. reclined seat until bottom window, anyone house empty car. commentator's pitched higher squabbled caller opinion. wondered bed.When called, grateful excuse leave. reached investigators, inconvenience. Someone gone. oblivious unrepentant, feared accusatory cutting. Or worse—I haul ask fulfilled spiritual journey short note found kitchen countertop. convey precise detail lives left: bleak cinderblock 170 Hollywood, echoing hallways stairwells oozed sour vapor cigarettes mildew; job college degree professional skills, sweltering laundry uniform supplier Van Nuys, maggots bloody scrubs soiled hospital sheets crawl arms loaded washers; later, receptionist plastics manufacturer Pacoima insignificant marginalized, relegated boss answer phones sort mail during company parties events. stigma free lunches thrift store clothes food stamps. insatiable hunger drink—but presence. voice. quickly, regret pain? As husband confounded me.Suddenly, jolting thoughts. there, large purple bathrobe, illuminated ground lights yard. brown hair shoulders, tangled sleep, puffy eyes. stooped weight Lifting slowly, quick movement disrupt scene, framed viewfinder record. past started home.Rain beaded windshield. fogged glass. overheating car's stale air. cracked cold wind steeped mineral odor wet pavement hit Above, dingy color steel wool.I Glenoaks Magnolia, waiting turn. empty. changed green, yellow, red. idled foot brake, watching sequence again. colors bled drenched asphalt shivering pillars, warped likeness world.At quietly door carefully Light filtered rain-streaked projecting watery floors. cast strange, distorted silhouettes walls. cooked meat lingered muffled sound. blood ears.“Troy.”My loveseat, bottle anger slip fright. “Are drinking?” asked.“This?” raising bottle. laughed. supposed miracle cure friend got on. Stronger immune system, mental clarity, deeper sleep. price.” breathed tired, raspy sigh. sleep Your mother fall asleep minute. clear conscience, why.” pointed sectional. “Stay couple minutes man.”I forced myself sit.“So how'd asked.I gripping “What?”“The surveillance. strung drugs.”“Long. Boring.”“So happened?” asked. “Smoking gun?”“That's Hollywood,” “the stuff movies.”“But still, guys, right?” forward. whose kids teachers, lawyers, dentists, boring that. investigator, they're interested. They specifics.”I noticed water coursing twined together enormous net rubbed eyes, grand, inflated image constructed friends.“Like murder case did,” “The skinheads killed Mexican kid Riverside. recorded interview Dateline.” set slatted oak coffee next stack Good Housekeeping magazines. silvery light, magazines sepia still-life painting.“Why here?” “Do need something? Money?”For moment, me.“I Allison,” meet grandsons. maybe talk.”“About what?” asked, recognizing “What want? Forgiveness?”“I “Maybe there's forgiveness. talk men mistakes forever. pretend hurt mom. did, leaving every day.”A passed slushing tires. Headlights raked walls, briefly catching bony face. blinked, held shut, sadness. marveled sudden familiarity bishop, staring church desk, spread weary, burdened faces utter reassuring word.I peering streams glowed streetlamps. leave, retreat stairs oblivion there. way, streetlamps tires car, hum crowd, warm nights, grass lights.I close formed small circles us.“When lived Crescenta,” “remember city Little League? became cause. went council meetings. wrote letters chamber commerce. donate money uniforms coach.”My pain backside. raw talent waste? Lightning bases. lethal arm outfield. Don't you.”I window. glacial “Near mission, ward Baton Rouge. why, companion Father's Day. Who asks missionaries Day? made sense. say, absent father? Do talked about? League Crescenta. After about. Minneapolis, executive Target. talk, was, spent time trouble. crying envied Can believe that? jealous us—of you.”Behind rustle fabric fleshy crack knees, steps moving breathing heavily.“The woman, wife,” “she I'm it.” rain harder, peeling dead leaves gutters. reflection smeared shuddered doing? Rocking three-year-old daughter Singing songs. Wiping nose. got. Three hours it.”“Then it's over,” “Case closed.”“It's that,” “He'll does lawyer misconstrue exaggerate. do.”My head. “It seems strange business. really understand work, Troy.”“You understand?” voyeur. forget. hope terrible clients happy.”“But guilty, reason.”I exhausted. “Sure, are. truth is”—I hesitated—“the is, to, find anyone. Everyone something.”“Seems line lends pessimism,” paused, tipped came office tomorrow hired good someone? Wouldn't turn upside down?”“No it,” said.“I'm speaking hypothetical,” “Say walks office, name address, hires person. Video, photographic evidence, whatever. know, Could it?”“I guess, to,” said.“And say,” tapping knuckle glass, “that house, this, son talking good, little, father?”“It'd hard,” “Without lights, thing.”“But could?” insistence before. perfectly, are, knowing someone's watching?”Rubbing help better, said: “Dad, long, care anymore.” away window.I statue, unaware longer side. space sheepishly emptiness. heavily loveseat collar. restricted, caught shifting body, beyond meant